I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize