I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
