They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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