I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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