I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
