think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
