I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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