I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
