The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it's like iHOP with fire
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I am never drinking with the goths again.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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