we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
