see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
