he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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