Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
