I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
