If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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