i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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