someone threw a dead crab at me
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
