Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
