Duck Duck Cougar?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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