He is such a slut. More and more my type.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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