we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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