Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
