well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
