I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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