So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
