Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
