addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
