i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
