so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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