Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
