just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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