I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
