I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
