Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
