well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Sober January is a disaster.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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