He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
