i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
