I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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