the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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