she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize