Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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