I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
