I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
