it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
