I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
