When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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