What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
