Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
