Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
