Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
