Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
