We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
