dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
