What did we do last night that was yellow?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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