her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
