You just made me feel so damn special
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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