once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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