what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
