Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
