My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
