as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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